- Never feed your cat anything that clashes with the carpet.
- “Would you like a beer, Mr. Peterson?” “No, I’d like a dead cat in a glass.” — Cheers
- Any member introducing a dog into the Society’s premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound. Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a cat. – Rule 46, Oxford Union Society, London
- Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn’t hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.
- Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will urinate on your computer.
- I thought I saw a pussycat… — Tweety
- Faster, pussycat, kill, kill! — Russ Meyer
- He wanted a pet, so he asked for an octopus, thinking it would be an eight-sided cat.
- Hit her with a squirtgun like you’re trying to train a cat to stay off the sofa. — Loveline
- I can’t use Windows. My cat ate my mouse.
- If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat, and dropped it from a height, on which side would it land?
- I think they’re blaming the cat. — the bunnies’ theory about why Megan Coughlin now have a vacuum
- I want to be a lion. Everybody wants to pass as cats. — Counting Crows
- I would love to go out with you, but I have to stay home and floss my cat.
- Never wear anything that panics the cat. — PJ O’Rourke
- People who take cat naps don’t usually sleep in a cat’s cradle.
- Subliminal kitty messages? “You are getting very sleepy” is not a command when said to a cat; it is an eternal truth. — Ari Rapkin
- Sure, we just route the main sensor through Data’s cat.
- THE PET PRINCIPLE: No matter which side of the door the cat or dog is on, it’s the wrong side.
- There are many intelligent species in the universe. They all own cats.
- These aren’t my thoughts, they’re my cat walking on the keyboard.
- To a cat, “NO!” means “Not while I’m looking”.
- Wake up and smell the cat food in your bank account. — They Might Be Giants
- We’re staying together for the sake of the cats. – Bumper sticker
- When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up. — Rodney Dangerfield
- Where the hell are the singing cats? — Paul Newman to David Letterman
- Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
- Why must I feel like that? Why must I chase the cat? — George Clinton
- You might be a redneck if your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
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